You’re halfway through telling your friend about the new person when she puts her glass down.
“Wait. Does he play guitar?”
He does, actually. Bass, technically. In a band that rehearses on Thursdays.
“And he’s a bit hard to pin down? Replies late, but when he does it’s really good?”
You open your mouth to say that’s unfair. Then you think about the last one. And the one before that. Then the one from university who wrote you a song and then disappeared for most of a semester.
“Oh no,” you say.
“Yeah,” she says. “You have a type.”
The thing nobody tells you about having a type
Most people talk about their type as if it were a list of preferences. Tall. Funny. Into books. Kind to waiters.
But that’s not usually what a type is. Your list is what you’d choose on paper. Your type is what actually pulls you in when you’re not choosing at all. Those are often two very different things.
You might say you want someone steady and available, while every person who makes your stomach flip is a little out of reach. You might say looks don’t matter, while you keep falling for the same kind of face. You might say you want someone who challenges you, but you only relax around people who need you.
The gap between what you say you want and what actually attracts you is where the interesting part lives.
Back to the table
“So what is it with musicians?” your friend asks.
You honestly don’t know. It isn’t the music, exactly. It’s something about people who have a whole world you’re not fully part of. Someone who’s a little bit elsewhere, and who you have to win over every time.
Put that way, it sounds less like a type and more like a pattern you keep stepping back into.
Where Venus comes in
In astrology, Venus relates to attraction, affection, and what you find valuable or beautiful. It’s often the clearest place to see the pull behind your type.
Here’s how that can look in practice:
- Venus in Aquarius is often drawn to people who are independent, unusual, or slightly detached. Closeness can feel exciting precisely because it’s never quite guaranteed.
- Venus in Scorpio tends to be drawn to intensity and depth. Easy, uncomplicated connections can feel surprisingly flat.
- Venus in Taurus is often pulled toward comfort, steadiness, and physical presence.
- Venus in Gemini tends to be attracted to wit and conversation, sometimes more than to consistency.
- Venus in Pisces can be drawn to people who seem to need rescuing, or to people who feel like a dream rather than a daily routine.
Then there’s the 7th house of your chart, which relates to what you look for in partnership, and the aspects that link Venus to the rest of your placements. For example, a Venus strongly linked to Uranus is often described as attracted to excitement and unpredictability. A Venus linked to Saturn can be attracted to older, more serious, or more emotionally guarded people.
None of these placements describes who you’ll end up with. What they describe is the pull.
The turning point
Here’s the part your friend didn’t say, but you’re slowly working out on your own.
The guitar was never the point. The pattern was. You’re attracted to the feeling of almost having someone. The waiting, the winning them over, the reply that finally comes. That feeling has become so familiar that it feels like chemistry.
And that’s what changes things. Once you can name the pull, you don’t have to obey it. You can notice it the next time it shows up, usually in the first two weeks, and decide whether you want it this time.
You can still be drawn to creative people. You might just start choosing the ones who also reply to texts.
How to find your own pattern
You don’t need a band rehearsing on Thursdays to have a type. Try this:
1. List your last three to five significant attractions. Don’t stop at the people you dated. Include crushes too.
2. Ignore the surface details. Look past jobs, looks, and hobbies, and ask what each person made you feel. Wanted? Needed? Chosen? Uncertain? Safe?
3. Find the repeated feeling. That’s usually where your real type lives.
4. Compare it with what you say you want. If the two match, great. If they don’t, you’ve found something worth understanding.
5. Check it against your Venus placement. Use your sign, house, and aspects. Look for what you recognise rather than forcing a description to fit. If it doesn’t resonate, set it aside.
What this doesn’t mean
It doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat the same relationship forever. It doesn’t mean your chart has chosen your partner for you. And it doesn’t mean the people you’ve liked were bad. Many of them were probably wonderful, and just not available in the way you needed.
Astrology works best as a mirror, not a verdict. Venus can show you the shape of what you’re drawn to. What you do with that is entirely up to you.
Back at the table, one last time
“So what are you going to do about bass guy?” your friend asks.
You think about it. “Probably still go to the gig,” you say. “But I’m going to notice how I feel on Friday when he hasn’t texted.”
That’s not giving up on a type. That’s finally paying attention to it.
If you’d like to look at your own Venus, your 7th house, and the pattern they might be describing, you can talk it through with an astrologer on My Astrology Advisor by live chat or voice call.