The short answer: memories are closely tied to seasons, dates, places, and sensations, so certain times of year naturally bring certain people back to mind. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and even the weather can all act as reminders. In astrology, some planetary cycles are also associated with reflection and revisiting the past, which can make these periods feel stronger. Thinking about an ex doesn’t necessarily mean you want them back. It often means part of you is still processing what happened.
Why does it happen at the same time every year?
Your mind links memories to context. If you met someone in spring, fell in love over summer, or broke up in December, those seasons carry emotional echoes.
You might notice it when:
- The weather changes to the same feel it had when you were together.
- An anniversary, birthday, or holiday comes round.
- You go back to a place you visited together.
- You hear a song, smell a scent, or eat a food linked to them.
These cues can bring back feelings before you even realise what triggered them.
Is there an astrological reason too?
Astrology has a few cycles that people often connect with revisiting the past.
Mercury retrograde, which happens about three times a year, is often associated with old conversations, people, and memories resurfacing.
Venus retrograde, which happens roughly every eighteen months, is often associated with reflecting on past relationships, values, and what you really want in love.
Your solar return, which is your birthday each year, is often a natural time for reviewing the past year, including relationships.
These cycles don’t make anyone return, and they don’t predict whether you’ll hear from an ex. They’re better understood as periods when reflection tends to come more naturally.
Does thinking about my ex mean I still love them?
Not necessarily. You might be thinking about:
- Who you were during that relationship.
- What you lost when it ended.
- A version of the future you’d imagined.
- Something that was never properly resolved.
Missing a person and missing a feeling are often very different things.
Why does it hurt more some years than others?
How you’re feeling about your current life plays a big role. If you’re lonely, stressed, or going through a change, old memories may feel stronger. If you’re settled and happy, the same reminder may barely register.
Astrologically, major transits to your Moon, Venus, or 7th house are often associated with periods of emotional review.
Should I contact them?
That’s a personal decision, and there’s no universal answer. A useful question to ask yourself first: “What am I hoping will happen if I reach out?”
If the answer is closure, consider whether you could find that on your own. If the answer is getting back together, consider whether the reasons you separated have actually changed.
Feeling something strongly at a certain time of year isn’t the same as a sign that you should act on it.
How can I make these periods easier?
Name the pattern. Simply knowing “this happens every October” can make it feel less overwhelming.
Plan something new for that time of year. Create new memories so the season gradually stops belonging to one person.
Write it down. Journalling can help you work out what exactly you’re missing.
Talk to someone. A trusted friend can help you see the pattern more clearly.
Be patient with yourself. These feelings often soften each year, even if they don’t disappear completely.
Can astrology help me understand the pattern?
It can help you see which periods tend to bring reflection, and what your Venus, Moon, and 7th house suggest about how you process love and loss. It can’t tell you what your ex is thinking or predict whether they’ll return.
If you’d like to understand why certain times of year bring back the past, and what your chart says about how you move on, an astrologer on My Astrology Advisor can go through it with you by live chat or voice call.
Related questions
- Why does the same breakup take you months and them weeks?
- Why do you keep choosing people who need fixing?